Now THIS is how you multitask like a boss!
Then what am I, fucking Jupiter?
i suck at this.. i was never good at myspace either and this kinda reminds me of it a little..i just come on here to creep.. and im not a fan of doing that either but i cant help it.. just hoping i could read something nice about me.. but i never do….
obey the law or youll get spanked hard.. me, im sofa king lazy that i cant even make a stupid phone call to set up some easy ass appointments.. too lazy to give a fuck about actually remembering when my fucking probation officer appointment was.. (and i haven’t seen her in like 2 to 3 to 4 months or so.. and she looks like shes gonna pop any minute outta nowhere #pregnantcop…) and ive got a mysterious warrant out for my arrest that i have no clue where the fuck or how the fuck i got it or came from.. so now im in the hole 145 dollars after having everything paid off for ever now.. cuz i got 3 more days of hell, i mean community service.. and it cost me 40 dollars each time to work from 7:00am til 3:00pm for free.. i mean for -5 dollars an hour.. plus the $25 violation fee… seriously.. fuck my fucking life.. fuck… i just want this shit to be over.. so what ever you do.. obey the law.. if you wanna smoke, get your card.. and if you do get in trouble.. do what ever they say, when they say it or the long dick of the laws going strait up your ass
going home.. gonna cry on the way home cuz i like that kind of pain release.. but i really dont know why i wanna cry but if i dont leave soon im gonna make people here sooo uncomfortable… im in a sad state right now that i dont see going away anytime soon… fuuuuccckk mmmmyyyy liiiiifffee.. i dont wanna be like this anymore.. but theres really nothing i can do.. but fall off the grid.. this sucks.. i wish i could hide this better. i wish i could hide it from myself.. i wish i could just die.. not really but really………….bye
i ve never wrote so much and just deleted it… im so embarrassed about my feelings.. cuz i know its stupid but i cant help it.. i got shot by cupid.. and he missed the second shot..
and im sure im spellin everything wrong and my grammer is wayy off point im sure too i bet… lol.. but seriously.. ill never get this shit down.. cuz i dont have a computer.. i gotta come to this wack ass library.. and i dont like that i can title this stuff.. like, i feel like i have to stick with the title and ive just been noticing my going in a ton of directions..
i hate how im posting right now.. its annoying me cuz i know im doing right..i know theres gotta be better ways to structure my thoughts
i hate what ive become.. i hate how i feel EVERYDAY for no substantial reason.. like.. i beat my self up and wonder whats wrong with me. why did i have to turn out like this.. what am i so strict with standards in my life that i let it hurt me.. why am i “such a great guy” and feel like im livin a life the assholes deserve.. why cant i just do things without being scared,… i wont even try new food.. i wont go out of my way to talk to people.. im so shy.. noone that knows me never thinks that cuz they got the chance to know me.. and i got the chance to know them, resulting in me getting comfortable.. im fime when im comfortable.. my comfort zone is so small it pisses me off.. i hate hate hate hate hate hate my life.. i know its not that bad.. but i fucking ate it.. theres nothing exciting ever.. and its my fault.. im too scared to do anything.. and when i finally open up i get shit on.. my whole life.. every girl ive ever told i liked was never havin it.. ever.. and it makes me question what the fuck my problem is.. whats wrong with me.. theres gotta be something.. and everytime i think this way i wanna cry.. you have no idea how hard it is right now fighting back these tears in my eyes right now.. how stupid would i look cry at a library..
i suck so bad.. just when i thought i could say what ever i want.. i start to not wanna.. like anything i wanna say right now.. or even ever is about one person.. and thats somewhat embarassing cuz its no secret who it is.. i cant post shit than see you and act like i never did and you never read..